Silence isn’t painful anymore, because it’s just silence, rather than an absence of something to cover thoughts/feelings that you don’t want to experience. When you actually fix what’s broken, heal what feels bad, address what’s bothering you, and train your mind to work well, then it does. Now, why would I exchange what is essentially a pristinely cultivated Zen garden of consciousness, in favor of one that has never seen a pair of gardening shears? I have trained my mind, my emotions, and my imagination to function in my best interest such that it doesn’t just please me, but helps to keep me healthy. Now, if you don’t like your own company, why would I?Īs an introvert, I have cultivated a sense of self, and a relationship with myself over many, many years. I know this isn’t everybody, but it is many of the extroverts I know. Many extroverts that I know, they flee their own company as if they were on fire. That may sound rude at first glance, but let me explain why it really isn’t. The real reason I’m quiet is because I prefer my own thoughts, feelings, ideas, and company over that of most other people. Instead, I’ll buy a one-way ticket to wonderland (a.k.a my own imagination), and let them continue their solo conversation without interruption. If someone doesn’t seem interested in listening to me early on in the interaction, I won’t bother trying again. None of the introverts I know will battle their way into a conversation. They are also often the people with a very loud and overpowering energy. It’s no coincidence that the people who make this statement most are the same people who rarely listen or ask thoughtful questions. Sure, sometimes it’s because I’m tired, or I feel like daydreaming, but other times THEY are the reason for my sealed lips. I also wish that I could tell them the REAL reason why I am so quiet at that particular moment. “People inspire you, or they drain you – pick them wisely.” – Hans F Hansen To which I reply, ” umm … uh … (cough) … errr, ” while wishing I could somehow telepathically convey to them that telling an introvert she is quiet is like telling the sky it’s blue: you’ll be pointing out the obvious and you’re not likely to get a response. If they’re really desperate, they will try to badger some words out of us, saying things like, “you’re being awfully quiet. They immediately seek to fill it with their own voice.
Empty air space is something that is unfamiliar and unwelcome for them. I also recognize that they are probably commenting because they feel uncomfortable. In my mind, their words are dripping with judgement. But still, anytime someone points it out, I feel anxious. I know being a quiet introvert isn’t a bad thing. This is probably one of my biggest pet peeves as an introvert.
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